Viva la blog!

I apologise for neglecting my blog of late - I have been pretty distracted the last couple of weeks....

A wise man once said:-
He who would travel happily must travel light.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

He's obviously flown with Ryanair then. Did get to go on mini-break last week. After some last minute web-searching managed to wangle us a cheapo apart-hotel in Portugal. Started booking what looked like reasonably cheap Ryanair flights (including taxes) before discovering that we had to pay extra:

- to check in at the desk (it's free to do online but you can't do that if you have an infant)
- to check in luggage (yeah, like we're going to manage just with hand luggage anymore - DT has more stuff than us by far!!!!)
- to board earlier (ooh, none of that disabled people and people with small kids on this airline)

so overall a fair bit more in extra fees for 2 adults and 1 infant to check in, take 1 hold bag each, 1 travel cot and board early. Cripes. When did life get so complicated?

Flight was busy, busy, busy but on time. After the whole bloomin' rigmarole of opening and tasting the baby jars to prove that the Hipp Organix Spaghetti Carbonara wasn't actually plastic explosive, we were finally allowed to board the plane. DT was already annoyed having been carried up and down stairs for 20 minutes and not allowed to run around and play with all the things on the conveyor belts at the airport. To add insult to injury mummy and daddy were not going to let him climb all over the seats and run up and down the aisle. DT informed the plane of his irritation by screaming at the top of his voice for about 25 mins. Fabulous. So now I am the parent of the badly behaved toddler you always try to avoid being stuck next to on a bus/plane/train - how embarrassing!

Another wise person once told me that you don't really have holidays once you have kids, you just do the same things as at home but in a different environment. So true. I really miss having time just sitting in the sun relaxing with a book, that doesn't really happen nowadays! Maybe in about 16 years it will again? Saying that - just being in the sun was pretty therapeutic given the terrible summer we've had 'oop north' this year. Also took my mind off all the chaos happening with my Dad who is still very poorly.

Back to work and one of my inpatients is not happy with me for having had time off. She was in a particularly bad mood the day I got back having had a disagreement with one of my colleagues.
I usually get on quite well with her but this day got "you doctors are always having time off, us taxpayers pay your wages you know!". She was obviously feeling aggrieved that I hadn't asked her permission before going! I didn't really know what to say to that.

Do you think that if I tried to negotiate my leave with my patients (after first asking my consultant and arranging cover with my colleagues) I would ever have a holiday again??

Laughing Cat

Laughing Cat
Originally uploaded by hap2b_me

The wanderer returns...

Just after I'd finished writing the last post I'd decided to find the local council's phone number to see if the street cleaners had found a dead cat....and guess who walked in? Well, ran straight to his bowl and munched the entire lot down to be exact. He's lost his collar and bell and has a small cut on his head but nothing serious!

After I nearly cried and gave him a big cuddle - I just got his usual disdainful look but I don't care! I'm so pleased he's back.

At least it's not Monday!

It's been a bloody awful week. My father who has always been rather hypochondriacal and anxious about his health for years was rushed to hospital the other day after something rather odd happened to one of his kidneys. He woke up suddenly with a fever and severe pain on the left side of his abdomen and decided (sensibly) not to wait and see what would happen. After a bit of prodding and poking he was told he probably had a kidney stone, given some pain relief and sent home, only to end up back in about 12 hours later when the pain got worse. It turns out that he has actually had a 'renal infarction' or for the non-medical among you, a piece of his kidney has died. Just like that.

When I went to see Dad initially he'd had morphine so was feeling nicely 'floaty' but also very justified in a 'see, I knew something was wrong with me' kind of way. Hmmm. Decided not to argue with that one - except my father for years has thought that every headache or twinge of pain is a sign that he is seriously unwell and is not being diagnosed properly by his poor local GP.

Now, the problem is that the cause for this is a bit of a mystery. Often people who have these infarcts have a history of previous clots somewhere causing such things as heart attacks or have risk factors for clots such as atrial fibrillation - a condition where the heart beats fast and erratically. Dad doesn't have any of these things, or not so the medical team have discovered as yet. They have however, discovered some other problems on his scan which they suspect may be a kidney tumour. Cripes.

Further problem, the medical team haven't told him their concerns, they've told me in passing - as I'm a doctor! Great. So now I am in the position of not knowing whether or not to say anything to Dad. If I do, he'll probably become very panicky and upset and I might cause him unnecessary worry. But the other part of me thinks the medical team should have talked to him first, not me and that he should know what the current concerns are. At the moment I'm procrastinating, hoping that todays scan will be clearer and maybe, if I'm honest, that the medical team will do the job for me.

On top of all that - my big tomcat Oedipus has gone missing!!! He has never stayed out overnight in the 3 years we've had him and has now been gone for 3 nights. Came back from seeing Dad and at the end of the 120 mile drive was greeted with the news by Mr O. Have gone round to all of the neighbours, told the cat protection mob/RSPCA but no sightings as yet. Now Oedipus is the nosiest cat in the world and has been into everyone's houses and most of their cars, outhouses etc. Regulary climbs inside tradesmen's vans too. So - he could be skittled on a road somewhere, locked in a garage or halfway to Aberdeen! I've told the Duracell Toddler that Oedipus has gone on holiday to Africa to see his cousins the lions. He liked that idea.

Supposed to be going for a mini-break to Spain in 4 days, what is the likelihood of that happening?

Think I shall return to singing ABBA and go into denial -"Waterloo....."

Mamma Mia! (No educational value to post - be warned!)

ABBA....showing what a great invention and how easily recycled aluminium foil is.

Wandered around hospital today happily humming, whistling and singing a variety of ABBA classics after FINALLY going to see the film Mamma Mia! last night. Mr O had threatened divorce if I made him go see it so had to cajole not-entirely-convinced female friend of the merits of 70's Swedish music.

It was fantastic and I loved it. Not exactly the best plot I've ever come across but the beautiful scenery, the lovely sunshine, and the wonderful cast more than compensated and overall it was great fun! I would've got up and danced except I'm pretty sure my friend Helena, a rather serious journalist type would have abandoned me....

Blimey, that Meryl can hold a tune. Only bit I'm not sure about was Pierce Brosnan's singing, especially in SOS. Will let you judge!



Anyway there I was this afternoon strolling down the hospital corridor humming the second verse of Voulez-vous (probably a bit too loudly on reflection) when one of my inpatients - a rather dour man with schizophrenia who is currently quite unwell passed me. "Bloody hell love" he muttered, "I thought I was the one that needed the psychiatric help. Maybe you need the tablets more than I do!"

Everyone's a critic....

Psychiatrist vs human being

Following my 'honesty is the best policy?' post I had an interesting comment which set me thinking. Now I know this is over-generalising a lot, but blogs on here relating to mental health in some way are often either:-

a) mental health workers talking mainly about work/patients/service users (delete as appropriate) but not about their lives outside work
or
b) people with mental health issues/illnesses some of whom do talk predominantly about mental health stuff, some who talk about all sorts of things in their life. (Although I imagine that many might say the two are not just overlapping but entirely intertwined?)

Now my thoughts are this. I don't see myself as a psychiatrist/doctor/mental health worker primarily, I see myself as an average person with a life and family who just happens to be a doctor/psychiatrist etc. I have good and bad days, feel excited or lonely etc. A comment to my post from in-the-margins was 'But I thought everyone that worked in mental health had their lives all sorted and were completely mentally healthy!' Now, I believe I am mentally pretty healthy but I certainly don't think my life sorted! In fact, not very sorted at all lots of the time....

Now interestingly, whilst other doctors in fields other than psychiatry post blogs that discuss social lives /girlfriends/personal issues as well as medicine, I've noticed the mental health workers don't tend to. Whilst I believe those boundaries should certainly be maintained professionally at work and in our therapeutic relationships with patients, does that have to hold true here?

Whilst I do see the value in just discussing work/mental health issues on here, personally I see this as an opportunity to discuss lots of issues both at work and in my 'other' life. What do people think about that? Maybe by talking about more than just our day job it might make me/us as a group more real....is that a bad thing?

Would appreciate any thoughts on this!